Day + 93 Things not much better.

Not much has changed since my last post. I'm still not eating and this has now been exacerbated by the fact that the radiotherapy has made swallowing an "issue"... that is, I can't swallow without being in extreme pain. The doc has prescribed a white liquid to take before meals that totally numbs the throat but I'm still not that keen on the actual physical act of eating. I can't get past the smell of cooked food without wanting to throw up.
It has become such a concern to me that I went to see a dietician yesterday and have being prescribed high calorie milkshakes... the same ones I had on the SCT. These too are disgusting to drink but it is easier on the throat than food so I am going to persevere with them. She told me I would be in trouble if I lose more weight between now and next week so I have an incentive to drink them!

I think the throat problem is due to having the radiotherapy so soon after SCT. Because I had grade IV mucositis my throat lining was wrecked. It probably hasn't recovered fully and now the radio is destroying the new cell lines faster than my body can replace and repair them.
Anyways, I'm off now. Number 10 of 20 treatments today so half way there.

Day + 82. Things getting a little weird.

It's been a tough few days all round. I started radiotherapy on Thursday but unfortunately decided the night before that I should develop diarrhoea. It has not been pretty. Travelling an hour on the train into Glasgow for treatment whilst trying not to soil yourself is not a pleasant experience. I lost one pair of undies due to the fact that ScotRail decided the particular on-train toilet I had to use shouldn't have any toilet paper stocked.
Arseholes.
Thankfully this little stomach upset has now just about passed but I have one more slightly worrying problem.

I don't want to eat.
Nothing appeals to me. Everything tastes like utter crap and the smell of food cooking makes me want to vomit... it is that bad. At the moment I am surviving on fruit and Weetabix. I went for a curry with work on Thursday night and hardly ate a thing and this is not like me to turn away mountains of free Indian food.
I feel terrible and will have to give my Oncologist a call on Monday. The radiotherapy will be burning calories like nobodies business and I'm not replacing them. No wonder I'm knackered and the weight is dropping off again.

I guess I'd better buy in some calorie shakes until I get over this.

Now the dog has it...

Just returned from the vets with a poorly Kelly in tow. She has been diagnosed with spleen and liver cancer and has between 1 week and 2 months to go. The vet said that he had never seen a spleen so large in a dog and some of her blood readings were off the scale! She is still bright in herself and very playful so there was no way I was putting her to sleep today but the first sign of any distress or discomfort then I'll be taking her back to "get the deed done", as it were. I'm gutted, to say the least. She's coming up to 12 years old so she's done not bad... she was only supposed to live till 7 or 8 as she gets so many steroids to keep her skin condition under control.

On my cancer front I've had good days and I've had bad days. My hair is coming back fast and I'm not losing any more weight, although I still don't have a good appetite as my taste buds are still narfed. I go in for tattooing tomorrow and radio begins on Thursday.

Day +76 today. In 24 days time I'm an official auto SCT statistical survivor.

Day + 70

Just a quick "few line" update.
Things are moving slooooooooowly and I think this is why I am dipping in and out of minor depressions. Nothing serious or worrying... just some black days when I want the treatment to start so that it can finish.

I was in Glasgow today on the CT simulator so that measurements could be taken for my radiotherapy. I now have three large crosses on my body... one under each armpit and one in the middle of my chest. I had to promise under pain of death that they would still be there next week. They are my alignment crosses and will make sure that I am in the exact same position for every radio therapy treatment... they get permanently tattooed next week and my treatment begins on the 13th. My last treatment is on the 11th October and I get the double joy of radio and a bone marrow aspiration that day.
I can hardly wait but at least I now have a definitive final treatment date.

The end is in sight.

Then we need a holiday... even if it is just to Ireland.