Saturday, October 11, 2008

ONE YEAR POST TREATMENT

October 11th 2007. It was one year ago today that I finally finished my cancer treatment.
And how did I spend this momentous anniversary?
In bloody hospital. You couldn't make it up. :-)

Becca managed to get her finger stuck in a door and successfully ripped her middle finger nail clean off. The poor wee mite was in agony so a trip to A&E, a tummy full of paracetamol and 'brufen, an X-Ray and a large bandage later and all is well again... for now. The next few weeks are going to be fun trying to stop her whacking her hand against everything.

So why no updates?
Basically I've been trying to rebuild my life.
I'm still not sure exactly which is the harder... dealing with cancer or living after having it. Even now everything I seem to do always has a "hint of cancer" in it. It is impossible to forget what you have been through but at the same time you have to push it far back in your mind in order to move on.
Other people make it hard as well. They don't mean to; it is just human nature. People forget that I had a shit-load of treatment. If I'm tired... and believe me i get knackered as I'm still anemic etc... I get accused of using my spell of Hodgkins as an excuse. "It was a year ago. You're fine now. Deal with it.". It gets on my tits.
Anyway, I'll post another update soon as I have a lot to say and I think people in my office don't read this anymore so I think I can open up in peace but I just wanted to do a quick update and say:-

"I'M STILL ALIVE"

I'm one of the lucky ones.
And I know it.

7 comments:

Kelly Kane said...

What a crazy day! I hope Becca is okay now, poor thing!

I look forward to reading your next post.

Miss you!
XO

Anonymous said...

Becca, hope your finger gets better soon and Wullie, thinking of you and completely understand where you are coming from. Find us on facebook. Please, Vickyxx

Bekah said...

Your post certainly put a smile on my face. Here's to your one year 'from the last bit of treatment.' And, to the tons and tons of years to follow that...

As for the people giving you a hard time -- I want a list, and an address, so me and D can take care of business, in a few months ;)

Sending Love,
B

j said...

hot damn
happy to see you post again!
sorry for the why though...
but yes,
you are a lucky booger.
i am glad you are....
j

Anonymous said...

Hi Wullie!

I agree - life after cancer can be really tough. I didn't get a normal healthy person's blood test until three years (or maybe it was four years) post transplant, and I remember being utterly knackered a lot of the time. I'd just started university nine months post transplant and everyone seemed to think I should be fine, and cancer definitely wasn't something to mention. Hang on in there, you do begin to feel better gradually. I've found lately that doing sports/activities have really helped (mainly with building confidence in my physical abilities after being so ill) - something you've not tried before.

I've decided that I'm never really going to succeed in putting cancer out of my mind, and it's always going to be a part of me. But because I've volunteered at camps for children with cancer, I have some amazing positive memories to do with cancer, which helps. It kind of compartmentalizes my cancer things (kids camps, message boards, trying to arrange a transfer of followups between hospitals) and non-cancer things so it bothers me less. But I found 1-3 years out the hardest time emotionally. After that it gets a bit better.

I was looking back at photos a few days ago, of just over two years ago, when I'd have been three and a half years out of treatment. I thought I was all better then, but when I looked at them, looked at me, the first thing I thought was "You can tell I've been in cancer treatment". Go easy on yourself - recovering from treatment can take a long time. Don't know how to encourage your coworkers to see that though.

Fionn

andyson said...

Wullie, I found your post and I'm at the point where I'm at the hospital waiting for my stem cells back. It's good to read that life can move on once I'm done with this process, even if that life isn't as long as I'd hoped. Good Luck in the future. I look forward to whatever rumblings you feel like posting.

j said...

happy thanksgiving folks
love
j