Veronica and I met the Stem Cell Transplant consultant in Glasgow on Thursday and had a good chat for 30minutes.
The consultant basically went through all the cons of having the treatment (pneumonia, feeling like shit, not able to eat or swallow without pain, sickness, infections galore, chronic heartburn, secondary cancers, leukemia, heart lung or kidney problems, chances of marrow not recovering and mortality rates during treatment) and then the pros of having the treatment... cure from the Hodge or long term remission from the Hodge. Unfortunately the pros don't come with a guarantee.

All in all I guess the pros do outweigh the cons but it isn't as cut and dried as you might think. I've done a lot of soul searching and deep thought before deciding that I will go ahead with it. I've been looking for other avenues of treatment. For example if, after my final course of DHAP, I am in full remission with no evidence of disease and my chest mass has shrunk back by say 50% would a month of high intensity radiotherapy be a better option and save the SCT for possible relapse?
Veronica put this to the consultant who said that there could be arguments for going down that route BUT if I did relapse again the SCT would be so so much harder with much greater risks.
He said the best chance for cure right now is to go to transplant and save the radiotherapy in the armoury for later. If my chest mass is still fairly large I would have the radio at a later date to shrink it back and seal the deal.

I'm now at peace with the decision I have made and will spent all my time after my final DHAP chemo in getting my strength and stamina up for transplant. It's not going to be easy and I expect some really rocky time ahead but there won't be anything I can't deal with. The hardest part will be the 4 - 5 week hospital stay as I'll miss the family but as I said to Veronica... "I've been to Hell when Erin was born and rushed to intensive care. This is just a return visit and I can deal with it again."

Bring it on.