Reflections.

First up.... Athbhliain faoi Mhaise Duit!!
Or Happy New Year in English!! God, I hope I've got the Irish correct or my mam will kill me. Unfortunately Babelfish doesn't do Gaeilge yet.
Usually, at the start of the New Year, you look forward, make plans and reach for the stars. Nothing is impossible in this bright and shiny future. Right now, however, I'm looking back at 2007 and wondering what the fuck happened. Too many family members died. Too many of my cancer family members died and far too many of them relapsed for the second or third time. One or two are at this present time spending their last hours or days on this mortal coil and more still are going through scanxiety as they wait for results.
All in all 2007 both sucked and blowed.
But as the saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining. I have met some truly remarkable people these past 12months. Without the help and support of these people my transplant would have been infinitely more difficult and scary. The one thing in life you don't ever want to have to do is literally sign your life away. That is what you do before you go into a bone marrow transplant... you sign your life away so that the oncologists can give you lethal doses of chemotherapy. Because of the knowledge and support I received from my new friends I was able to sign that form and get on with it.

This is a post I made on the Hodgkins Forum and it sums everything up:-

Right then.
Before the bedlam of the holiday season kicks in in the next day or two I wanted to make sure I remembered my "other Family" on this board and to make sure that you all know just how much I have appreciated the support I have had throughout this year.
2007 was supposed to be a good year. I got a clean PET under my belt on December 27th 2006 and Veronica, myself and the weans were supposed to move on. Unfortunately life can sometimes suck but after more chemo, more chemo + transplant and then rads I'm clean again.

I can honestly say that this wouldn't have happened without this board.
A few weeks before I was rediagnosed I told my brother-in-law that there was not a chance in merry Hell that I was going through chemotherapy again should the need arise because I didn't think I could do it; and I meant it! Next thing I know, Veronica and I are sitting in the oncologists office and I'm pretty much begging for jungle juice and SCT as soon as possible! There were two reasons for that dramatic change of heart:-
The people on this board and particularly Mr. Darrel Hale.
For some reason (something divine?), just before re diagnosis, I really got reading the stories on this board and particularly Darrels blog. I think he was just starting his third round of ICE when my bomb was dropped and I was just in awe of the guy and the way he was still smiling through all the shit. I'd read other blogs but this one was "live and in progress" at the time.
Darrel, thanks for taking the time to blog! It gave me the knowledge that I could do it.

I don't like pointing people out for thanks as this is a community and we all stick together BUT:-

John, Ryan, Brian, Joe and Jesse:- for always making me laugh. Period. Everytime. Even when you don't mean too!

Skie, Susan, Alison, Fionn, Bekah, Chris + Vicky:- for pompom waving during transplant and keeping the fight in me.

Brian (moondoggie) again:- if I hadn't found his blog I wouldn't have found this board. CiMB.

Sarah:- for unfortunately having "been there and done that" and so could answer every one of my questions.

Duane:- basically my hero.

And finally, the two most important people to me... the Special Ks.
Karen and Kelly.
Thank you for keeping Veronica sane and for keeping in me a fight for life I didn't know I had. I look forward to buying the champagne in Boston!

Again, thank you ALL for the love and support this year.

Have a very Merry Christmas and here's to making and keeping Cancer our Bitch in 2008.

I hope to look to the future in a few weeks but for the time being I'm just going to reflect and be thankful that I am still here. And my New Year Wish? That everyone I know is as happy and as healthy as can be. As us Irish would put it....
"May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past".


Darrel, Jesse or anyone for that matter. If you need anything you know how to get me.